Motherhood isn’t Easy
Motherhood is difficult. We all know that. Every decision you make from the time you find out you’re pregnant to… well I don’t know when. I guess it never ends. Every decision shapes them into the people they will become. That’s a load of responsibility.
Of course scheduling playdates, tantrums, being a chauffeur, homework, after school activities, attitudes, making sure they’re eating healthy, making sure they have clean clothes, the messes… that’s all hard.
But that’s not the REALLY difficult part of motherhood.
For me, the real hard part comes from wanting to protect your children from absolutely every bad or negative experience; knowing that, even if that was possible, it would be to the detriment of their character and their perception of the world.
From a young age when you teach your children things like kindness, thoughtfulness, and gratitude, they have the understanding that others will have these same traits and behaviors. As they grow and interact with more children (and adults), they begin to learn that’s not always the case.
Even small things like those moments when your child comes to you and tells you someone hurt their feelings, or doesn’t want to be their friend, or says or does something mean, it can be soul crushing as a mom. They’re looking up at you with tears in their eyes, not understanding why. They’re looking to you for comfort and an explanation. They’re seeing that the world isn’t always kind, even though THEY were kind. For me, those are the most difficult moments as a mother, because I want to take away all of their pain, all of their hurt, and make it so it never happened. But…
Even though it hurts, I know I have to remind myself that these are opportunities for lessons. I have to build my child up, give them strength, encouragement, and understanding so that they can handle those small moments, because one day, those small moments will be big moments.
I refuse to shield my children from the real world. I refuse to pull them away from everything that makes them uncomfortable. Instead, I have to give them the tools, love, and support to overcome the obstacles. I want my children to understand what it takes to be successful in this world, to be strong, resilient, AND kind! To balance forgiveness, understanding, strength, and self-protection.
THAT, my friends, is the hardest part of motherhood.
Stepping away from the instinct to protect your child, even from the smallest of incidents, to help them learn lessons that will build character, help them understand the world, and protect themselves while simultaneously showing them the importance of kindness, thoughtfulness, and gratitude. Teaching your children to react appropriately instead of reacting FOR your child. That is difficult.
Please don’t mistake me. If there’s a situation where I need to fight for my child, you can bet your a** I’ll be fighting! I’ll lead by example. Show them strength and heart. Defend them with everything I have.
But for those moments when I can help them better understand the world and how to respond to it, I will. Even though it won’t be easy.
